How did I come to write this guide? A few years ago, my son was bullied in school by students and teachers. I became active in anti-bullying at that time. Since then, I have received many requests from teachers and parents, (mostly parents) asking what to do about relational aggression (a form of bullying mostly used by females). Many say that they have read numerous books on the subject, but still didn’t know what to do. There was no plan of action to follow in most of the books. What there seemed to be a need for is a concise, cut-to-the-chase guide on what to do to limit or eliminate relational aggression. Many books adequately detail what RA is, and this guide is meant to give some suggestions on what to do about it.
I was asked, when I told someone that I was writing this guide, if the information was from studies, or from peer-reviewed journals. Some sources that I’ve read say that more research is needed. And, not all experts agree on what is the best approach. There are so many anti-bullying programs and books that it is hard to know what approach to take. And I wonder if the programs are doing any good since, by many accounts, bullying, including relational aggression, is not getting any better. Teachers tell me that relational aggression is getting worse, that girls are getting meaner, and they are seeing more of it.
There have been reports that some programs have not been followed as they should have been, or were watered down. The reasons cited were lack of time, and the inability to fully implement a program that was difficult to understand.
The information in this guide is not specifically from peer-reviewed studies or journals. It isn’t hard to understand, and doesn’t use hard to understand words. It is based on common sense, which is not so common in these zero-tolerance days. It is also based on The Golden Rule, and plain basic good manners, courtesy, and respect. Those qualities have been peer-reviewed and studied over the centuries and are still considered to have value by those not in thrall to psychologizing every aspect of life.
This guide recognizes that there is a big problem with relational aggression and that much time can be lost waiting for studies or theories or experts to solve the problem. We need a commonsense, plain talking guide for action now!
My e-book (41 pages, estimated) Relational Aggression: Spot it, stop it! is now available on amazon.com in the Kindle store:
Relational Aggression: Spot it, stop it!
Copyright Julie Patrick Clark 2014
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